Got Your Earplugs?

Mom wants me to sing with them in church next Sunday. This could get ugly.

We all know I'm practically tone-deaf so if you'd rather save your ears, by all means, come to church, but bring earplugs just to be safe. 

There's really nothing interesting happening in my life. Gheegee's making progress, we cleaned out the cedar closet yesterday, and I'm still as excited as ever about leaving for OCS.  I really need that discipline in my life...

Can I just say how much fun cleaning out the cedar closet was?  I think Mags and I were seven again.  Eventually, Mags was wearing Mom's wedding dress and I was wearing my Martha hat.  Mom found some American flag antennae...yes antennae, and swore she was going to wear them to OCS graduation.  If she does, I won't speak or look at her until we get back home.  That's a promise.

But today's Mom's birthday so if she wants to be goofy today, I won't disown her.  She's pretty awesome, so she deserves a day (or every day) to do whatever the heck she wants. 

Okay, no more rambling.  Today's also Norway's birthday, so this is a shout-out to Silje, Kristine, and Monika.  I'm sorry you can't be home on this awesome day, but celebrate from America and know I'm thinking of you!

I feel like leaving y'all with a quote today since I haven't said anything prolific:

"The world is not the most pleasant place. Eventually your parents leave you and no one is going to go out of their way to protect you unconditionally. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe and sometimes, pardon my language, kick some ass."  --Queen Elizabeth II

Listen to Queen Elizabeth...go kick some ass today.


 

Old Schoooool Brotha

Today I finally got around to reading the Texas Monthly article about the Rangers.  Well actually it was about Ron, Josh, C.J., and Nolan, but still it was an article about the Rangers.  It just made me so happy to love baseball and even more importantly, to love Texas baseball.  I remember getting so excited about visiting the family in Tyler because that usually meant a trip to Six Flags and a Rangers game.  Yep, I had the Pudge poster in my room and everything.  Most dedicated moment?  Going to a game with a cast on my broken nose.  Sure I had my hat pulled down as far as it would go, but dammit I got the see a stadium boo A-Rod as soon as he stepped up to the plate.  So in case you're wondering if I'm one of the "bandwagon fans," think again.  I hated the Yankees before anyone told me that was what true Texas fans did.

This past Fall at SMU, I was on the boulevard before a home football game and after some guy introduced himself to me he said, "Wait, aren't you that crazy Rangers fan?"  Of course I owned up to it and the thought that someone had actually described me in that way made me overjoyed.  Yeah, I'm a little crazy, but baseball and the Rangers are totally worth it.

 So why do I love them?  How can you not?  Unlike many teams in the MLB they're a brotherhood.  Yeah, Michael Young was in a bad spot with Daniels at the beginning of the season, but you couldn't find one player that didn't support Young, no matter what was going to happen.  The guys play for the game and for passion, which is unfortunately why we constantly have guys on the DL. For those guys, it means pushing a little bit harder and sacrificing a little bit more for the W.  They laugh, and they make up those claw and antler signs we've all come to know and love.  They remind me so much of our Eunice boys who are (obviously) not playing for money, but for the game and the glory of winning.  And that spirit showed when Feliz threw that last strike against the Yankees in Game 6 last season.  In that dog pile, it wasn't about contracts, negotiations, or money.  It wasn't about landing a new contract or impressing the sponsors.  It was about the game of baseball and the passion it takes to make it to the top with your best friends (literally) backing you up. 

And in case you're wondering about the title of the blog, that's what Dylan likes to call Wash, and I think it exemplifies the attitude of the team.  They're boys who've been through every walk of life: Drugs, alcohol, poverty, immigration, high-class, backwoods, you name it, one of our boys has probably done it or been there.  But baseball is that one uniting element, that one thing that keeps those guys together. 

So America, you can take football if you want it, but I'll stick with baseball and the Rangers, even if it means another heartbreak.     

"Home Again Home Again Rig-A-Jig Jig"

That's what Gheegee would always say as soon as we pulled into the garage after a late night at dance.  And that's how I feel now.  I can see the stars, it's actually dark outside, and it's not humid.  Yep, I'm back at the ranch for a couple of weeks.

These past few days have shown me how many amazing friends and family members we have and I just couldn't be more blessed.  I feel so spoiled to be supported by so many people, so I just want to say thanks to all those who have kept us in their thoughts and prayers.  Believe me, you do not go unappreciated.  Thank you.  Thank you.  THANK YOU.

On another note, tonight I thought a lot about questions quite a few people have asked me lately: "Why the Marines," and "Why would you want to do something like that?"

For me the question is, "Why not?"  I know crawling around in the mud, having people in your face 24/7, and putting yourself close to danger doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but there's so much more to my decision than that.  Firstly, I have to say there are few things I've done in my 20-year span of life that have felt this perfect.  I know I'm a leader, but I never really knew how I was supposed to lead until I pictured myself in the Marines.

I told my mom tonight that I remember the first time I decided I was in love with the Marines.  I was probably in 6th or 7th grade and a USMC commercial came on and I just remember wanting to do something harder than anything I've ever imagined.  I wanted to be broken down, to be better, to do something no one thought I would be able to do.  That's when it started.

So I kinda pushed the idea out of my mind because I wasn't necessarily interested in a military academy and enlisting wasn't an option because I knew I had to go to college...but then I found this program.  It was perfect.  College.  Summer Training.  TBS after college, then MOS and (hopefully) deployment after that.  I've never been so excited to start something in my life.

You may not understand why I would want to do something like this and you may look at me and tell me I'll never do what I want, especially because I'm a girl.  Well, I have to tell you, you couldn't be more wrong.  I want to be broken, I want to be told I'm not good enough.  I want to rise above every negative thing anyone says to me and lead leaders.

I'm not doing this because I think it will paint some glorious picture of myself and I  can live some war-movie lifestyle.  No thanks.  I know I have the "I can" to make it, and I will not fail.  I don't care how much it hurts or how much I might screw up.  I'll learn and I will get better because I do believe I live in the greatest country on earth and I couldn't be more blessed to call this place home.  Someone has to protect everything we have and I'm more than willing to do it.

You can raise your eyebrows all you want when I say, "I'm joining the Marines," because it will only motivate me even more. Shocking?  To you, yeah maybe.  To me?  I'm fulfilling a dream.  

Oh and Gunny, if you happen to read this, I hope you know now that I'm not just doing this for the t-shirts.    

Prayers

So...I'm home.  Well almost.  I actually made it to Midland and stayed with Mags last night.  We're planning on going to Lubbock this afternoon to visit Gheegee in the hospital.  For those of you wondering, she was air-lifted on Sunday morning and the doctors found some bleeding on the left side of her brain.  So many friends and family members have rallied around us prayed and we can't thank them enough.  It's gonna be a long (5-6 weeks) of rehab in the hospital so we've got to just keep the faith!
Gotta get ready to go to Lubbock now.  Not the ideal way to start the summer, but hey, God wouldn't give it to us if we couldn't handle it.

The Long Haul...With the Scandanavians

So today, just like every Sunday, was our long run around White Rock Lake. 75 minutes...so that was enjoyable. I kinda felt like this:

Legs were stiff, ankle pretty sore, but I'm pretty sure everyone was in the same boat today. But I'm good now that I finished. : )

So that was my last practice with the team. So weird. I love those girls so much and I can't imagine how I would have survived this semester without them. It's so fun to learn about the Swedish and Norwegian cultures and to hear about how much they love America and how much fun they've had while here. They're so brave for coming all the way over here just to run and go to school, so I admire them more than I can ever say.

Of course, I love my American teammates too! They've been running XC much longer than I have and Steph especially keeps me motivated and ensures me I can get where I want to be. Again, my teammmates help me survive. They're such a blessing!

I'll have to say goodbye to Klara and Lovisa for the last time tomorrow, and I'm not at all looking forward to it. I don't want them to go back to Sweden. At all. :' (

So I'll leave on that note. Those are the flags of the three countries we represent (Sweden-Norway-U.S.A). We're just a bunch of (for the most part) light-haired, light-eyed, distance runners who couldn't love each other more. I cannot wait for next year, but I just know it won't be the same with two of the sweetest girls I've ever met. So tack, Klara and Lovisa, for an amazing year. I will miss you terribly! And always think of my when you eat your banan (!!!) after practice.

Off to study for one. more. final. One more. Then freedom and and the Marines call my name.

Sleepy Time...She Comes

Holy cow, I never thought I'd make it. The end of the semester is so so close and I can't believe I've actually made it through without a complete breakdown. And with A's, might I add (okay, okay I'm counting A-minuses too). Sometimes I wish I didn't care about my grades, but when my GPA comes together, it's really satisfying. Just had to say that.

Now I can stop being conceited. I'm coming away from this semester with a happier, more productive outlook on life and school in general. I've made the greatest friends (and gained a Little!) through cross country and I learned that living with someone definitely doesn't mean you are going to hate each other when it's all said and done. I have a new love for medieval literature and I'm more aware and concerned with the current state of our public school system in America. I know to be a manager you have to have common sense...oh and make sure you know pointless terms for that common sense. Children's literature is apparently much more politicized than I ever imagined and archaeology, well, it's cooler when Gheegee's involved. Steph (my Little) told me the other day, "I feel like I'm in college to get a job and you're in college to learn." So yes, I'm a nerd and I like to take bizarre classes just for general knowledge, but it's fun.

So now we have this summer...and next semester lurking around the corner. So here's a list of next semester's classes:

1) Anatomy

2) Intermediate Fiction Writing

3) Ways of Being Religious

4) Revenue in Sports

5) Picturing the American West

I won't have class on Fridays (YIPEE!) so that's going to be absolutely amazing. I'm THRILLED about the Picturing the American West class (it's an Honors Perspective) because it covers everything from Lewis and Clarke to Clint Eastwood. I'll be working in the Locomotor Lab again and possibly teaching a Bible study, so things are really looking up for me. I'll take Health Psychology and a "Mountain Sports" class in August in Taos, so that should also be a ton of fun as well!

But I couldn't possibly be more excited about OCS this summer. I can't wait to push myself further than I've ever been and prove to everyone exactly how much I can do. I'm going in weak and I want to come out stronger than I've ever been. It will be a test of my personality, my physical ability, and my mental grit. Y'all will be able to call me Lieutenant Pearson in no time.

Perfection

Sometimes I stop and ask myself what in THE HECK I am doing. Is this really what college is all about? I’ve gotten so used to four-and-a-half hours of sleep a night and for some reason, I just don’t think that’s exactly what college is supposed to be. I can't really complain because my feelings are not unique at SMU. This is a dilemma for so many of my close friends, classmates, and “involved” students all across this campus. We are all struggling and this environment is a stressful one in which we’re oftentimes so exhausted and fed-up that we can scarcely stand to be around one another. We’re irritable, secluded, and busy. These hearts that are supposed to love and embrace one another have become hard hard stones that no one can penetrate. We’re constantly bothered by this sense of urgency, this sense of…sometimes hopelessness that we’ll never get everything done and that we’ll never really be rested. Rested. Indeed we want to be rested in the physical sense, but our minds are completed overloaded with information, dates, deadlines, meetings, lunches, coffees, presentations, essays, practices, and planning that we can’t possibly ever reach that status: Rested. It’s the constant need to achieve and succeed above your peers. It’s that constant desire to do better, to be better, to impress, to get that grade. It’s the pull not to let your teachers, parents, and friends down and to be the one that “has everything together.” How are we expected to succeed if we cannot complete everything that’s asked of us on time and to the absolute best of our abilities? Disappointment? That word isn’t even in our dictionary. We will succeed. We are failing. Every essay, presentation, and event we complete is an utter failure. We spend so much time doing these things for ourselves. I’ll admit, I’m probably the worst offender. I want to be the best. It must be perfect. I cannot fail. I, I, I. Me, me, me. How many times do we let our pride get in the way of our well-being and our pursuit of Jesus Christ? We have to make sure our image is reputable and attractive. We weren’t designed to be machines, but that’s oftentimes how we treat our bodies. So what is it gonna be? How do we fix this problem? Well I’m gonna go for the obvious answer: Prayer. And no I don’t mean just asking God to help you with your workload or magically having your teacher cancel class on Thursday (thank, you Jesus). I mean deep, meaningful, get-lost-in-the-moment-and-forget-where-you-are prayer. It’s a challenge for me and maybe it’s a challenge for you. What does change look like for you? For me, it’s waking up in the morning and feeling ready for a great practice, rather than being exhausted from late-night homework and worry about who I haven’t pleased that day. Mentally, it’s happiness and appreciation for the day at hand, rather than this bitter, wish-I-was-out-of-college mindset. It’s seeing OCS this summer as a challenge rather than a break from SMU. It’s looking in the mirror and seeing the positive rather than criticizing every flaw. It’s happiness…real happiness. More than anything, I pray you know your own heart and are pursuing those things that truly bring you joy. So many times I find myself making decisions based on what will please others rather than what will please God and that just leaves my heart and my mind in a crummy place. So what is it you’re pursuing?