May. Day.

In fine form and fashion, I've ended May 2015 in only the most appropriate way possible.  As Ivy and I headed out to try a new cafe, I decided to stop and get some gas.  Having done this in town in the past, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal.  After translating the signs and double checking just to make sure, I started filling up the tank on the car I'm currently driving, which, I might add, is borrowed from another Marine.  Thinking I'd done just fine, I started driving toward what we hoped would be some delicious local food, we got about a mile down the road, the van started driving kind of funny, and we promptly died.  On the side of a hill.  In the middle of a neighborhood.

Long story short, we met some friendly English-speaking Chinese who helped us (and by us I mean Ivy) push the Red Dragon up the hill and off the road, we waited a couple hours for a tow truck, and we made our way back to base crammed in the cab of a tow truck with an über friendly Okinawan.  

If I reflect honestly on this month, I have to say it's been a challenging one.  Move to Japan, broken leg, surgery, convalescent leave, and putting the wrong type of gas in a borrowed car.  Never did I ever think I'd be the one who got off to a rough start.  That kind of stuff doesn't happen to me, remember?  I leave things better than when I started.  How can I possibly have already caused destruction?

Your chariot, m'lady.

So friends, it's easy to see and note the good that's come from this first month on the island, but it's a heck of a lot harder for me to reconcile why this month happened the way it did.  Reminder: it's not my job to ask, "Why," but to question, "How will I handle this? What will I do with this situation? Who can I affect positively in these circumstances?"  As much as we like to say, "Oh, just give it to God.  He'll always take care of you," James 2:26 tells us, "For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead." This pertains not only to big sacrificial acts of faith, but how we choose to react to the small situations in our lives.  How we treat others in the midst of frustration, how we take or deny responsibility, how we decide to choose joy over negativity, will be evidence of our faith.     

This month it became oh, so clear to me that I am human. I am not the one who causes the earth to tremble.  I am not the one who created the universe and I am certainly not at the center of that universe. I will fail, but every time I will rise to a loving God who will push me through the mess and use my shortcomings for good. 

"When anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself." -Galatians 6:3 ESV

"Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” -James 4:13-15 ESV

James 4 also tells us He gives more grace.  More grace than what?  More grace than our biggest mistakes.  More grace than our biggest, ugliest, most disgusting sins. Friends, he gives more grace and it is new every single day.  Whether this week, month, year, decade has been the best or worst of your life, you have a loving Father who hears you, sees your frustration, and walks beside you.     

Wobble, Baby

Suicide Cliff, near Naha

Konnichi wa! I made it to the island, and what a warm welcome it's been. God has marvelously shown his beauty here through the kindest, warmest people I've ever met and incredible scenery surrounding me in every direction.


The food, people, scenes, customs...are all incredible and affirm my choice to come to Oki. It smells, feels, looks, and acts differently than America and it's so cool to see how a different society functions.  As cool as the United States is, I understand the wanderlust mentality and the beauty that is experiencing cultures different from my own.

Not quite the desert flowers from The Land of Enchantment

Now, I didn't at all expect to be handed a uniquely challenging set of cards as soon as I got on island, but last Thursday while playing rugby, I fractured my fibula and perhaps tore a tendon in my lower leg.  I'll have surgery on the leg next Friday to install some plates and screws in the bone and potentially repair that tendon, should it in fact be torn.  Crutches for at least six weeks, shouldn't expect to be out of a boot for twelve.  These past few days have been a mix of all kinds of emotions and conversations, frustrations and speculation, but I'm finally at a place of determination and action.   
I could be totally unrealistic and say I'm not upset at all and I'm sure God has something great coming for me. When Doc told me I might be out 12 weeks, anger and bitterness were probably written all over my face. How could this happen to me? I take such good care of myself. I'm always the one going out of her way to make sure she's physically ready. Why me? Why now? I wanted to grab up my crutches, tell Doc I'd be fine, and get back to work.  I'm indestructible, the bone will heal, and that tendon will just have to be a little bit loose from now on.

Reality quickly set in and I realized I have a challenge ahead of me, and that challenge is no different than any other one I've taken on voluntarily.  It's time to show whether or not I really can handle adversity and make it a good thing.  Do I understand why I broke my fibula? No, of course I don't.  Am I frustrated? Of course I am. However, that does not illicit self-pity or discouragement because, "convinced of [God's ability to use me] I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith." (Philippians 1:25) and "...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces character, and character produce hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-4).

At the end of the day, we all have jobs to do, both for the world and for our great God.  I have no idea what's next, but I know it is good and there's no reason to hang my head.  Even on crutches, I can and will contribute.  So friends, I think it's time to get my cast signed, block up the clutch on my car, and cut up my upper body, because there's work to be done and I want to be part of it.  I know so many of you may find yourselves in a place of discouragement, but take heart, friends, because we serve a loving God who does not cause us the pain we experience, but wants to graciously bring us out of that hurt and into the goodness of a life lived with Him.  In the meantime, enjoy this guy and enjoy the heck out of your week.

Don't worry guys, I'll be back at it in no time.

    

At the Edge

Well guys, it's finally here.  I'm 12 hours from flying away from American soil for two years.  Anxious? Absolutely.  Scared? Not at all.  I've been at the edge of so many things for so long and it's finally time to step off for something better.

Before Mags and I left NM, I had the chance to say some goodbyes and hug some necks I haven't seen in way too long. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support from friends, family and neighbors I've known all my life and some acquaintances I met just once.  There's no replacement for my small hometown and I can't imagine being able to do what I do without so many people in my corner.  As an aside, thank you to those who have prayed for, written to, called, texted, and thought about me.  I am so confident in God's work, provision, and intention for me and I can't wait to see the good that comes from it.  There aren't enough words to show my thanks, but I hope each of you know how much you are loved and cherished, and I pray you be bold enough to go where God may call you.

So now, back to finally jumping off that ledge.  For the past year, I've been on the edge of being a fleet Marine.  I've been on the edge of going where God would have me.  I've been on the edge of leaving a comfortable life.  My toes are hanging off the ledge, there's a breeze at my back daring me to jump.  There's no way to know what's beyond the ledge and that is most exciting, because I can look upon this year and know that obedience brings more joy and fulfillment than I can possible try to force for myself.

Throughout the year I have been tempted, I've given in to temptation, things have broken my heart, events have been exceptionally joyful, I've been surrounded by familiar faces, and I've been lost in a sea of people I don't know.  Through all those things, both good and bad, I have found infinite comfort in the grace and love of Christ.  Every single time I fail and try to duck my head in shame, I am reminded that this great grace, this unconditional love, gives me no reason to hang my head and every reason to step out beyond myself.  More often than I'd like to admit, I've questioned where God has me, but over and over He has shown me a life impacted for the better and a joy that is absolutely unshakable.  He has directed my sight outward, relieving me of the weight I try to take on when I focus on myself.

This next step is so incredibly exciting because I go into it expecting God to do good things through me, even in my weakness.  There are so many people waiting to be blessed by a love bigger than we can comprehend and my hope is that we will be bold enough to pursue that love and those relationships, whether they're on the other side of the planet or in our own hometowns.  Whatever ledge it is you're scared to jump off of, will you just step out already?  Y'all, the blessings waiting for you are so good, it kills me to thing you might miss them.  Go boldly, go in peace, and I'll see you back stateside real soon!

      

Let Go My Soul

So tonight I uh, duked it out with God.

I drove to Charleston this weekend, knowing I needed some time to set my soul right.  I ate dinner my first night with total strangers in a random restaurant downtown, and I ended tonight with my hands in the air, crying and singing in a church full of brothers and sisters. It was one of those good cries--men, I know you don't get it--but it was so incredibly necessary.

Through those tears, I was saying, "It is well. It is well. It is well with me."

I've sung those lyrics so many times, but tonight it wasn't so well with me.  "God I don't want to do this. Why did I so blindly choose to go to Japan? I'm happy here. God please don't make me do this."  I surprised myself with my own rebellion.  Where did that come from?

Then I took the Communion bread. "Beloved I did this for you."

Father God, I have doubted your goodness. I've trusted my heart over your Word. 

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."  No wonder Romans 8:28 is my Mammaw's favorite verse.  Tonight, it's a reminder, not just that good things are in store, but that God is good and he is love and he intends good for me, just because I love him.

How can I doubt that Jesus, who went so far as to die so I might "have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10), would not intend only the very best for me?  The same God who created the universe, who heals the brokenhearted, who sets the captives free, is in my corner.  He's intended so much good for me, so much joy, and so much life, yet I've tried to control and manipulate the outcome to fit how I think it should look.  

So tonight, it might mean Japan, the Middle East, Camp Lejeune, or sitting on the back of a horse in New Mexico.  It might mean friendships, parting of ways, triumphs, and failures.  Tonight it might mean abundance, it might mean poverty, it might mean death, but surely He will always lead to life and I will say it is well. It is well. It is well with me.

   


   

    

Internal Affairs

Welcome to 2015, everyone!

As to be expected, most of y'all are still hanging tough with the resolutions you've made, or maybe doing some serious reflecting on 2014, determining what steps you will take to make 2015 successful.  I ended 2014 with a blog on a reputable charity I think does a whole lot of good.  However, brought to the forefront of my mind the past few weeks has been the people immediately around me.  The nationally-popular charities to which we contribute are great, but rarely do they meet the needs of our neighbors, our friends, our families, etc.  What are we doing to care for those in the near vicinity of our lives?

This isn't a rich/poor, have/have-not issue.  What we must do is take an honest look at our service: how the lives of those around us flourish because of our work, our prayers, and our selflessness.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to be healthier, more financially responsible, or less smart phone dependent, but what end are those goals helping to reach?  More free time? More money? A smaller dress size?

"Spending ourselves for something infinitely greater still fans our parched souls for God-given need to matter but relieves us of the relentless pain of being the "It" person at the center of it."  This Beth Moore quote hit me hard one morning and hasn't left me since.  Our souls long to serve.  I'm always amazed at the magnitude of human compassion and the good that has been done by the simplest of individuals.  I've caught myself writing a check or dropping money in an offering plate, knowing someone else would do something good for someone I'll never meet.  How much greater is the service when we use our money or time to directly serve our neighbors, perhaps in a time or place that directly affects our lives as well? 

We're comfortable passing the responsibility, careful never to dirty our hands with others' trouble, but not hesitating to bury our noses in others' tribulations.  We (and I include myself) are so quick to forget our need for forgiveness and the despair we feel during those dark days.  Rather than giving in to the drama, feeding the fire, and not looking like the rest of the world, my hope is that we will shine bright with hope in 2015.  I have faith, not in our abilities as individuals, but in our capability for good when it is centered around Christ and encouraged by brothers and sisters working toward that same good.  We have work to do, certainly.  However, I refuse to fall into the life of selfishness and disconnectedness that's been set for my generation without a fight. You're never too young to make a difference, you're never too old to change.


This is just a little extra for y'all.  In light of the deplorable job we've done approaching race relations in our nation, Matt Chandler beautifully lays out our role as Christians:

"Where the ideal is lacking, grace abounds."

http://www.thevillagechurch.net/sermon/racial-reconciliation-prayer-2015/          

Wishin' and Hopin'

Another week closer to the Christmas 96...and time for another charity!

While I was at SMU, I had the opportunity to familiarize myself with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, thanks to Chi Omega.  I got to see first-hand how the foundation grants wishes and gives kids reasons to be joyful, despite their disheartening situations.  Make-A-Wish is a nationwide organization and Chi Omega worked closely with its North Texas affiliate.  We saw a variety of wishes granted to include trips to Disney World, runway modeling, and celebrity meetings.

Make-A-Wish aims to grant these wishes, not just to allow kids the opportunity to do cool things, but to give them joy and hope: tools that may give them the strength and determination to fight off their life-threatening conditions.  The good that this organization does is magnificent and I am so honored to have played even a small role in granting wishes.

You may donate to Make-A-Wish here, or, if you would like to recommend a child to Make-A-Wish, you may do that here.

God Bless, Everyone! 

Kiddos

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Hope everyone's Christmas season is off to a joyful and meaningful start.  As promised, I'm blogging about another organization that I think is worthy of your giving this Christmas.

Toys for Tots has been a name I have recognized for a long time, but it (obviously) began to mean much more to me after I decided to join the Marine Corps.  Certainly, Toys for Tots can boast national participation, but I think what's even more impressive about it is the loud message it sends about the heart of Marines.  While Marines have every opportunity to shake hands, kiss babies, and receive recognition for their sacrificial service, every year these men and women volunteer (okay, some are volun-told) even more of their time to give kiddos just a little more joy every Christmas.  I sponsored Toys for Tots drives in both Dallas and Lea county last year and in 2012 and was amazed at the participation.  I'm convinced there are fewer things more convincing than a Marine in Blues!

Toys for Tots drop boxes and warehouses can be found all over the country and those locations can be found here. If you would rather make a monetary donation, further information for that can be found here.   

Merry Christmas and Semper Fidelis!