We'd spent 5 months together, we'd grown close, we'd fought, and we'd learned what the future might hold for each of us. The interns at Athletes Performance had grown to know each others desires in life as well as the things that sent us into a rage. Then, one afternoon, Roy asked us the question, "Who is one person you believe to be successful," and I think each of the interns knew there was something wrong with my answer.
I was first up, and I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth, "Bill Gates."
In my mind, I was thinking, "Bill Gates. He's made a fortune, but not necessarily for himself. He gives, and he had to struggle to get to where he is. So yeah, that's why most people say Bill Gates is successful, right?"
However true that may be, it's a terrible reason to justify giving an answer that's not my own, but society's. When I think about what success looks like to me, it certainly isn't Bill Gates. However, because that was my answer, I was forced to step back and reassess where my heart and my intentions are in relation to the things I do and the ways in which I strive toward what I think is success. Am I aiming for recognition? Money? Friends? Or, am I striving toward serving others so they may know a life filled with hope? What has stricken me in working with and meeting people in my long 23 years of life is that so many have given up on hope for their life, their families, or their careers. Success, to me, means helping others understand that hope can be restored, no matter how far south we think our lives have gone.
Roy asked us that question in May and it took losing someone incredibly dear to me last week to finally form that picture of success in my own mind. Louis "Louie" Canelakes became somewhat of a dad to me while I was in Dallas. I stumbled upon a hostessing position for his bar on the weekends and kept the job for three years. Louie's was the place that oftentimes reminded me Dallas wasn't so bad and I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself. Everyone there welcomed me as one of their own. I celebrated birthdays, went on dates, and watched a multitude of Ranger games with my family at Louie's. Every week, no matter how busy he was, Louie made sure to stop, ask how I was, and give me a brief lesson in Greek history. He dropped what he was doing when someone sketchy was trying to hit on me, but we always had a lighthearted laugh about it after the fact. He cared for his dive bar and his family there with a genuine heart, week after week. Even though Louie's is popular, Louie refused to allow his bar to become a money-hungry, run-of-the-mill, cookie cutter establishment. He was true to himself, true to his family, and never wavered from his convictions.
Louie took the time to get to know people and believed in their causes, even if it countered his own. Louie embodied what so many of us lack: faith. Not only did Louie have faith in those around him, he had faith in himself and what he knew he was put on earth to do. When everyone told him he needed to grow or bring in more money, Louie kept his foot down. That's not who he was and that's not how he would be successful. It would have been easy for Louie to search and hire big-name business managers, chefs, and staff who would have promoted his name. However, he had faith in the people and family he brought into Louie's, because he knew as well as anyone they had faith in him. He welcomed big-name customers as well as families living from paycheck to paycheck. When he heard criticism and was told what he was doing was sub-par, his faith in his cause overrode that negativity.
Louie's cause wasn't for money, it wasn't for recognition, it wasn't to gain a hold in the Dallas social scene. Louie wanted to make a place where everyone from every corner of Dallas could meet on an even playing field. He couldn't care less how much money you had or didn't have, he was going to serve you and if you found a place at the bar and wanted to talk, he wanted to listen. Louie lived outside himself, which is apparent in the memories he established within those who knew him.
Don't get me wrong, success manifests itself in various ways, because we all have different purposes. There's nothing wrong with making a lot of money. It's okay for people to know your name. It's even alright if your success puts you in a position of authority. However, when we have those things, those titles, and that recognition for our own gain without regard to others, that is failure. Success doesn't mean being able to do whatever you want, but rather giving up some pleasures or niceties in order to have the opportunity to uplift and better others. Yeah, success is sacrifice, but its done in faith, which reaps a blessing, not only for the successful one, but for those he serves.
We can't take our money, our friends, or our possessions with us when we leave, but we can take our souls. If those souls are filled with kindness, service, faith, and selflessness, Heaven will be filled with a whole lot of love, and that sounds like a great place to be. Lou, thanks for having faith in yourself, and thanks for having faith in me. I thought and still think you're crazy every time you said I was going to be a governor, but I know without a doubt you had faith in my future and that means the world to me. And Roy, I have a different answer now, and it's not Bill Gates.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Did I Do That?
You've had the conversation. You know, someone asks you what your regrets in life are. Chances are this question either dive bombs straight into a heart-to-heart or you quickly say, "I don't have any," and you sit in awkward silence until someone can think of a new topic.
The latter has always been true for me. I'm always the one to say, "I don't have any regrets. It happened, it's over, I moved on." What about you? Do you dwell on actions you either deliberately or unintentionally made that didn't turn out so hot? Do you, like me, scoff at the idea of having regrets because that clearly means you actually screwed up? Obviously, I'm perfect, so I'm gonna cling to that "No Regrets" reply until my fingers go numb.
On two separate occasions this morning, I was shown that while my answer to the question isn't necessarily wrong, it's grounded in an incorrect and selfish ideology. Take note:
"I have no regrets because everything I did made me who I am today. I made those choices, I'm alive, I'm a pretty good person now."
Then, there's the other camp that's equally wrong:
"I have plenty of regrets because I feel badly about the things I've done and I wish I never would have made those choices. It hurts me to think I did those things and sometimes those regrets impact my life today."
Lots of personal pronouns in there. We tend to think of our past and our actions in light of how they impacted us. Certainly, there are times when our actions hurt others, but whether we regret or stand by those actions, that stance in grounded in how that makes us feel in the long run. Whether you choose to believe it or not, that shame, that guilt, is sin rearing its head to get at us. But sin, y'all, isn't just something that happens, it's something that actively separates us from the only One who can redeem. When we selfishly view that sin, we lose sight of how it has impacted our relationship with Christ, and we end up with the two viewpoints.
On one hand, the sin/action happened, but it ultimately contributed to the "better" person today. This validates sin in a way that is really scary. Here, it is because of sin that we are better or stronger people. We must refuse to give sin that power. Its Christ redemption interrupting that sin that saved us from being consumed by it. By giving sin the power to "make us better," Christ becomes nothing more than an excuse for people to use to call themselves Christians. You've met this person. You may be this person.
On the other hand, sin dwells and actively eats away at the conscience, to prevent a person from forgiving himself and others. With this mindset, sin plays its well-known role, in that it prevents us from healing and turning to Christ's love, which opens the doors to freedom. Here, we totally miss the concept of redemption. We allow a sin, a (sometimes single) action, to convince us we are not worth a full measure of love and forgiveness and again, we are separated from Christ.
So now school circle, around me. We have two viewings of our actions (sins), one of which tells us sin actually makes us better, stronger people in the long run, and one of which suggests we must always remember those sins because they were terrible and we shouldn't ever do them again. So now, enter Christ and enter redemption.
When we feel bad about the things we do, that's called conviction and it's God's way of exposing our shortcomings to us. What we fail to realize is when we claim responsibility for conquering sins, we don't really heal. We end up hardened and proud, rather than humbled by our faults. Christ, y'all, is the reason we can recognize those sins and grow, not out of those sins, but out of Christ's love. When we hold onto our sins because we feel guilty about letting them go, we miss redemption. Our Creator so longs for us to experience freedom from all that junk, he paid a huge price for it.
And please, for the love of all that is good, realize no amount of action, either good or bad, can get you into or out of Eternity. Actions of this world remain in this world. That change of heart, that conviction and mercy, is what gets us where we want to go. For those who have been judged by Christians for your lifestyle, your actions, or even rumors about your actions, I am so incredibly sorry. What's cool about Christ is the moment we truly recognize those sins before Him, he asks, "What sin," and moves forward.
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Your actions, both good and bad, hold no weight in your redemption. It's Christ's love, his heart, his sacrifice that justifies your salvation. So let's restructure our regret sentence with a little help.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23
"He sent redemption to his people. He has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is His name!" Psalm 111:9
"He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteous, but according to his own mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior." Titus 3:5-6
We all sin. God loves us and has promised redemption and he's good on his word. Nothing we can do can get us to Heaven or condemn us to Hell, because Jesus, quite literally, paid it all. Therefore, I know I have sinned, but God's love and forgiveness has helped me recognize it and through him, I have grown and learned to love. For you pessimists, this sounds like a too-good-to-be-true, give me a break, fantasy idea. That's the magnitude of it all. We (understandably) don't comprehend and can't conceptualize that kind of love and forgiveness. Take heart in the fact that we are not condemned to a life of regret, but we are welcomed to redemption and freedom in a full, joyous life God has for us.
The latter has always been true for me. I'm always the one to say, "I don't have any regrets. It happened, it's over, I moved on." What about you? Do you dwell on actions you either deliberately or unintentionally made that didn't turn out so hot? Do you, like me, scoff at the idea of having regrets because that clearly means you actually screwed up? Obviously, I'm perfect, so I'm gonna cling to that "No Regrets" reply until my fingers go numb.
On two separate occasions this morning, I was shown that while my answer to the question isn't necessarily wrong, it's grounded in an incorrect and selfish ideology. Take note:
"I have no regrets because everything I did made me who I am today. I made those choices, I'm alive, I'm a pretty good person now."
Then, there's the other camp that's equally wrong:
"I have plenty of regrets because I feel badly about the things I've done and I wish I never would have made those choices. It hurts me to think I did those things and sometimes those regrets impact my life today."
Lots of personal pronouns in there. We tend to think of our past and our actions in light of how they impacted us. Certainly, there are times when our actions hurt others, but whether we regret or stand by those actions, that stance in grounded in how that makes us feel in the long run. Whether you choose to believe it or not, that shame, that guilt, is sin rearing its head to get at us. But sin, y'all, isn't just something that happens, it's something that actively separates us from the only One who can redeem. When we selfishly view that sin, we lose sight of how it has impacted our relationship with Christ, and we end up with the two viewpoints.
On one hand, the sin/action happened, but it ultimately contributed to the "better" person today. This validates sin in a way that is really scary. Here, it is because of sin that we are better or stronger people. We must refuse to give sin that power. Its Christ redemption interrupting that sin that saved us from being consumed by it. By giving sin the power to "make us better," Christ becomes nothing more than an excuse for people to use to call themselves Christians. You've met this person. You may be this person.
On the other hand, sin dwells and actively eats away at the conscience, to prevent a person from forgiving himself and others. With this mindset, sin plays its well-known role, in that it prevents us from healing and turning to Christ's love, which opens the doors to freedom. Here, we totally miss the concept of redemption. We allow a sin, a (sometimes single) action, to convince us we are not worth a full measure of love and forgiveness and again, we are separated from Christ.
So now school circle, around me. We have two viewings of our actions (sins), one of which tells us sin actually makes us better, stronger people in the long run, and one of which suggests we must always remember those sins because they were terrible and we shouldn't ever do them again. So now, enter Christ and enter redemption.
When we feel bad about the things we do, that's called conviction and it's God's way of exposing our shortcomings to us. What we fail to realize is when we claim responsibility for conquering sins, we don't really heal. We end up hardened and proud, rather than humbled by our faults. Christ, y'all, is the reason we can recognize those sins and grow, not out of those sins, but out of Christ's love. When we hold onto our sins because we feel guilty about letting them go, we miss redemption. Our Creator so longs for us to experience freedom from all that junk, he paid a huge price for it.
And please, for the love of all that is good, realize no amount of action, either good or bad, can get you into or out of Eternity. Actions of this world remain in this world. That change of heart, that conviction and mercy, is what gets us where we want to go. For those who have been judged by Christians for your lifestyle, your actions, or even rumors about your actions, I am so incredibly sorry. What's cool about Christ is the moment we truly recognize those sins before Him, he asks, "What sin," and moves forward.
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Your actions, both good and bad, hold no weight in your redemption. It's Christ's love, his heart, his sacrifice that justifies your salvation. So let's restructure our regret sentence with a little help.
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23
"He sent redemption to his people. He has commanded his covenant forever. Holy and awesome is His name!" Psalm 111:9
"He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteous, but according to his own mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior." Titus 3:5-6
We all sin. God loves us and has promised redemption and he's good on his word. Nothing we can do can get us to Heaven or condemn us to Hell, because Jesus, quite literally, paid it all. Therefore, I know I have sinned, but God's love and forgiveness has helped me recognize it and through him, I have grown and learned to love. For you pessimists, this sounds like a too-good-to-be-true, give me a break, fantasy idea. That's the magnitude of it all. We (understandably) don't comprehend and can't conceptualize that kind of love and forgiveness. Take heart in the fact that we are not condemned to a life of regret, but we are welcomed to redemption and freedom in a full, joyous life God has for us.
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