Talking in Circles

I'm sitting here looking through some notes I took while traveling this weekend, trying to decide how to shape this blog to speak to my little sphere of influence. "Socio-economic differences at SMU," "Philippians 4:13," and "Commercialization of Christmas" are my top three notes.  What a reflection those little notes are of where my mind wanders when I'm afforded the opportunity to just be silent.  I could store up those notes for future blog posts but...

On socio-economic differences at SMU:

• I can't even begin to say I know what it's like to be #blackatSMU, but I might approach the controversy from a different angle.  We need to be mindful of what the roots of social differences are at my alma mater: socio-economic background.
• While I generally felt welcomed by my small group of friends, I never felt like I fit in or was part of the group who "belonged" at SMU, and while I'm thankful for every opportunity I had in Dallas, I'm not so sure I ever really felt proud to attend (there goes all alumni support I might ever need).  It's a complicated issue for me because I think I personally tried to resist the SMU stereotype, while at the same time tried to fit into the culture in some pretty ridiculous ways.  Either way, the conversation's worth having and I'm up for it if you feel so inclined.

On Philippians 4:13

• I have to resist the incredibly obnoxious Facebook rant for this one and just wrap it up in an equally obnoxious blog.  In short, Philippians 4:13 cannot stand on its own unless you understand it in context and light of verse 12: "For in all things, I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."
• In our do-it-yourself, come-from-nothing society, we're fixed on setting our minds to whatever the hell we want to do and refuse to acknowledge God isn't a genie who grants our wishes and helps us achieve our goals if we pray enough, go to church enough, and do enough good things.  Philippians 4:13 is about being joyful, rejoicing in salvation, in light of our own shortcomings, life's failures, and circumstances far out of our control.  

On the commercialization of Christmas:

• Spending Christmas away from home for the first time was tough, but certainly more enjoyable with some faithful friends.  Being away from the icicle light-laden, blow-up snowman clad, Christmas-tree-in-every-room decorations and the glitz, glitter, and cheapness that Christmas has become in the States was incredibly refreshing.
• I can't say I don't love the season of Christmas and the warmth it brings, but we run the risk of forgetting our joy for the sake of a month of constructed happiness.  By being removed from the distractions (and that even includes family), I reflected on what this time of year calls for us to remember, outside of carols, lights, and (let's call it what it is) routine candlelight services.  I'm not sure what the answer is, but I just pray as we enter into the holiday season, we'll first remember the reason, the joy of our salvation, then subsequently decorate and sing in celebration, rather than vice versa.  

Now, tonight my heart rests on my sphere of influence: y'all (you guys, for those east of the Mississippi).  I spent my trip home from Kyoto planning my non-profit, scheming with Ivy and Maggie about how exactly I will change the world.  It's easy to create these elaborate, fantastic, idealistic plans to save an entire population from *insert social injustice here*.  Now, before you read too far ahead, don't think I'm discouraged from or discouraging you from thinking big in plans for service.  I am, however, encouraging you to seek to know yourself, your strengths, and be intimately aware of the people who have crossed your path.  I genuinely believe I can influence, but to what capacity, now that continues to change and grow as I discover what exactly I'm tailored to do. 

Do I plan on backing down from my plans? Absolutely not.  However, I think it'd be foolish of me to blazingly charge into the fight without time spent in prayer, reflection, and analysis of what my sphere of influence will be.  We can't depend on change to happen from the top down.  No one understands your struggle, your family's struggle, your community's struggle, like you do.  Believe in the gifts and talents you bring to the table.  If it's one person or an entire culture, be the influence.  Understand what breaks your heart and affect the change, however small it may be. 

Live for the hope.  Strive for the good.  Love y'all.